everyone’s depressed

vaguely to the tune of Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows”)

Everyone’s depressed
Everyone is stressed
need to take a rest
get it off your chest

Everybody’s bored (and boring too)
life’s a minor chord (no rhythm, just blue)
falling on your sword (clichés so banal)
shrink you can’t afford (makes you want to snarl)
everybody’s bored

Everyone’s depressed
Everyone is stressed
not feeling your best
fouling your own nest

Life is such a bore (when you’re depressed)
bleaker than before (when you’re depressed)
Getting up’s a chore (why bother getting dressed?)
Heard it all before (drearily expressed)
Life is such a bore

Everyone’s depressed
Everyone is stressed
cannot take a jest
lost your zing and zest

Things you used to love don’t seem to matter.
Imagine you’re a shell: crush it hard, feel it shatter
Imagine you’re an egg: drop it quick, see it splatter
Feel like broken glass, spiky shards, smash and scatter…
Leave it on the floor

Everyone’s depressed
Everyone is stressed
catches up by stealth
skews your mental health

To a big fat zero, life equates
want to stay in bed, listen to Tom Waits.
Obsess about the things you once forgave
want to stay in bed, listen to Nick Cave.
Everybody leaves, you’ve always known
want to stay in bed, with Leonard Cohen
and Mary Gauthier

Everyone’s depressed
Everyone is stressed
emotional malaise
not your salad days

Everything is stale (when you’re depressed)
sun showers feel like hail (down the collar of your vest)
Just like a hollandaise without the yolk
there’s no point, it’s tasteless, it’s a joke
Everything is pale

Every dog is black (it’s chasing you)
Howling in a pack (soggy tissue)
Every cloud’s a rain cloud (pouring down)
Every crowd’s a critic (you’re the clown)

Every colour’s black
every colour’s black
every colour’s black

There’s more, but I couldn’t be bothered editing it…